There’s no question that our earliest experiences shape who we are as adults…how we feel about ourselves, how much we trust others, how satisfying our relationships are.
What happens to us in our families, from the beginning, literally shapes our brains and our nervous systems and can leave us with a myriad of issues, like:
- Anxiety and depression,
- Addictions and compulsions, and a
- Failure to achieve our potential.
The good news is that what happened to us early in life doesn’t have to be a life sentence.
At Quest, we effectively help you put your early experiences in perspective and understand how these influence your life now.
You will gain very specific skills and tools for changing the patterns that hold you back.
Family of Origin Issues Assessment
In looking at the following assessment, ask yourself, “Is there a part of me that often feels this way?” If the answer is “yes,” you would most likely benefit greatly from doing family of origin work at Quest. Check these out:
1. There’s something’s wrong with me; I’m flawed.
2. I’m not enough; I’m not good enough.
3. I’m not smart; I’m dumb; I’m stupid, or, I’m an underachiever.
4. I’m not wanted or I shouldn’t be here.
5. I deserve to fail; I deserve whatever happens to me.
6. I don’t deserve love; I’m unlovable.
7. The world is not a safe place.
8. I can’t trust that others will be there for me.
9. Bad things always happen to me.
10. I won’t be accepted for who I am; I won’t be understood.
It’s easy to look at the questions above and say, “That’s not me!” Yet, the real test is in times of stress. Try this:
- Recall a time recently when you got upset about something, (maybe your feelings were hurt, you got angry, lashed out, and/or just shut down) and notice what happens in your body when you vividly recall that experience. You may notice a knot in your stomach, heaviness in your chest, clenched jaw, tension in your shoulders, etc.
- Ask yourself, “Is this feeling familiar?” (It almost always is!) Then ask yourself, “When might have been the earliest time I experienced this sensation, this feeling?” Most likely you will recall, even faintly, some event(s) that happened as a child. (For example, you may remember a time when an adult was angry with you or shamed you. Or you may just have a sense that this feeling is familiar.)
- Then ask yourself, “What might that little kid be thinking or telling her/himself?”
- Check the list and see if the statement from that younger part of yourself seems in any way similar to the ones above.
Most of us have some underlying negative beliefs about ourselves that stem from family of origin experiences. These messages we receive from our early experiences become the program that unconsciously runs our lives, especially in times of stress.
At Quest, we walk you through specific protocols that help you change your programming, change your brain, so you can change your life.
If you would like to talk with one of our therapists about whether Quest is appropriate for you, call us at (707) 322-4626.